To Choose a Star

India seems to have made its pick - Taare Zameen Par (TZP) is its official entry for the Oscars.

That the movie was chosen wasn't really a surprise. And then again it was. The latter first - it's simply that the committee's picks usually look like no-brainers to most. A no-brainer for elimination, that is. Now, maybe not all Bollywood movies are international fare, but come on, every so often the desi directors get it right. So maybe a little less lobbying (by the big banners) and a lot more thought (on the part of the Indian jury) might do the trick.

In all fairness, it's not that good movies haven't made their way to the Foreign Film category. It's the other, rather odd choices that makes one question basic things like the sanity of the selectors. Don't take my word for it - see for yourself.

Right there with superior movies like Manthan and Earth, we have nominated opuses like Paheli and Henna; and can you even believe this - Saagar. Could someone please tell me what part of Dimple's chiffon clad beach number was Oscar worthy? Or how about Kamal Haasan's bout of self-indulgence - Hey Ram. Ack, what a waste. The rules allow just one entry per country, pretty unfair to prolific movie making countries like India and China; France and Italy. I mean, doesn't this put India in the same filmi bracket as Iceland. Or maybe that's why we pick what we do - to keep the others competitive.

TZP seems like a sensible choice in a year with some good options like Black and White and A Wednesday. A simple and solid story with middle-class appeal that addresses a universal issue - our denial of disability. An unusual protagonist. Few we-gotta-fit-these-in songs. Emotions that tug rather than wrench. I loved the fact that Aamir Khan accorded his audience the courtesy of intelligence - we don't really need to be talked down to.

A lot of people liked many different things about the movie, but what especially stayed with me was a dialogue between the Art teacher and the dyslexic boy's father. The teacher - Aamir - mentions that in the Solomon Islands when the tribal folk want to get rid of a tree, instead of cutting it down, they just hurl abuses at it day after day. Within a few weeks, he said, the tree just wilts and dies. The analogy, extended to a child's tender psyche is not hard to grasp. So little said, and yet so much.

And the Oscar goes to..... we won't know for a while. But at least this time around India won't be laughed out of the screening room.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

It was a University of Georgia study that got me thinking. The story claims that Facebook profiles of people can be used to detect narcissism.

The researchers found that the number of Facebook friends and wallposts that individuals have on their profile pages correlates with narcissism. Buffardi said this is consistent with how narcissists behave in the real-world, with numerous yet shallow relationships. Narcissists are also more likely to choose glamorous, self-promoting pictures for their main profile photos, she said, while others are more likely to use snapshots.

More on the study here.

Makes you think, doesn't it. Or cause guilt, outrage, denial, and for some, pride at being above such weakness.

It maybe the truth, but is it the whole truth?

Personal appearances can be important, or they can be an obsession. No wonder cosmetics is a huge industry. Friends in print advertising say that one of the big creative challenges is touching up to perfection, the photographs of supermodels, which were shot by pros to start with.

Well thanks, that's comforting to hear - really, do the rest of the mere mortals even have a chance? Or with standards so impossible is it any wonder that so many of us are killing ourselves to get somewhere in the striking range.

While living in Canada where health-care is state sponsored - a can of worms I shall not touch any more than this veriest mention - we once received the annual health ministry update which indicated that, as a part of cutbacks, Cosmetic Surgery was no longer going to be included in basic benefits.

My first reaction was - whoa, what a blow. Gee, I was so looking forward to going under the knife, till the health department rained on my party. But then I paused to reflect - maybe enough people had felt the need to take advantage of this benefit. And why not - if it works for you, great - revisiting youth or gaining a slimmer self is at least a possibility now.

The question then is - how much is this desire for perfection narcissism and how much is it about self-image.

One might not aspire to beauty crowns, but what's wrong in the wanting to preserve memories of our more beautiful selves. Especially on social network sites like Facebook or Myspace where one might meet friends you haven't seen for a while - is it really a crime to post your best photos?  For most, high school or college reunions are as much about showing off how good they look as it is about how rich or successful they are. And again, why not.

Ok - so narcissim is a dirty word, right there with greed and sloth. Call it what you will, I think some amount of  personal pride is healthy, even inevitable. Which is why portrait studios flourish. Why so many people buy fitness equipment they may not even use much. Why it is a minor tragedy if you're sitting at home on a Saturday night instead of with being out with a dozen friends.

If narcissism exists, it's because we are programmed to think in those terms.

Isn't it natural to foster self-image in a society that tends to evaluate success through social standing, or studies galore that have concluded that better looks will get you hired faster, get you a date more easily, ensure better service, win you more friends.

That said, how far we carry this desire for beauty is up to us entirely.

There's no fairy tale ending here. Whoever has the answers, I'm guessing it's not your mirror.

A Passage to India

Like so many expats, India is my home but mostly in an emotional sense now. It's where my family lives, as do memories and a whole host of sentimental tugs.

While a large part of the agenda on my annual visits is eat and meet, with generous doses of shopping thrown in, there are a bunch of things I totally love doing.

Here are a few of my favorites:

Cuisine fusion - to a true-blue desi like me no body cooks like Indians do. While food has always been a religion with us, the growing international flavors make me crave the fare with a fervor to put a jihadi to shame. Sure, my Dahi Kababs were rich with flavor, but I actually had the best Pasta ever in Delhi.

Watch a few episodes of the top TV serial/ soap - oh, what emotions those stir, especially amongst the women. For full effect, sit through a 'frothy' discussion - insightful! And heaven forbid you call anyone between the evening hours of 7 and 8. Of course, there are reruns the next day, but a lot of ladies watch those too.

Check out the bestsellers at Connaught Place - You'll know what's moving the folks these days and find the old staples, even if the prints are not collector quality. I actually discovered Robin Sharma on a dusty pavement. It was fifty rupees well spent.

Hit the malls and popular markets - and not just to shop. Malls are the new social milieu. Plus one does need to keep up with the trends. Because in urban India, fashions don't just change anymore. They explode into existence; and just as easily taper off. Keeping up with the Joneses or Jains, as it happens, is a whole new ask.

Binge on street food - who needs restaurants! Well, that's only a rhetoric.  The point here is that the neighborhood eats are as good as ever. A vendor next door makes crisp Vadas, another churns out superb moong-dal pakoris. Hot jalebis are a perennial favorite. And I'm hungry again.

Cricket - that is one source of excitement one can always count on. I was in Delhi a few years back when India won the T20 world cup. It took all of fifteen seconds after the last ball for the fireworks to start.
For a match, mind you, where the victory was by no means certain.

Read film magazines and Page 3s - true, one gets the former in the US too, but nothing like getting several weighty opinions on which star should be dating whom. Plus, if you hated the latest movie, of course it was a major flop. Plus, it is but essential to know which socialite is grooving and who's not.

FM Radio surfing - no way you can miss which songs and issues are top of mind for everyone.

Tales of the Maids - out here in the Americas, few can claim the privilege of domestic help. Turns out that things are not all that different there. If you're lucky, the help is regular and honest. If not, at least the others get entertained or else compete with relish on whose maid woes are the worst.

All this and so much more. Shallow, I know. There is a lot going on in India that is serious and insightful. Progress and problems still co-exist. And I'm conscious of that.

But this is only a light-hearted look that makes me feel closer to the wonderfully vibrant land of my birth.

An Ace deServes

Nothing, they say, succeeds quite like success. Sometimes, the reverse is true too.

Look at all the sporting heroes whose achievements take on  iconic status thanks to the Press. The stars get to feed off the adulation but also need to survive the caustic public glare, should they fall short.

Now, Roger Federer didn't have the best of seasons. Lack of a coach, a bout of mononucleosis and possibly a general ebb in form seem to have contributed. After garnering a string of superlatives that others can only aspire to, the stardust seemed to have deserted him somewhat. In the locker rooms too, his aura has diminished, and pretty much everyone claimed that they had a shot at beating him. And they did too. Complacent fans, concerned off-late, have been cheering him on with anxious frenzy or shaking their heads at losses that used to be a cakewalk in the past. The Press has played its usual will-he or can't-he game, mostly leaning towards the latter.

Sure, he fell short - at least by his past standards. But at the end of the day, it's a matter of perspective. As a bunch of admittedly less successful players have said - we'll take his kind of year, anyday. One semi and 2 grand slam finals ain't no small change.

If you're getting the sense here that I'm a Federer fan, you would be right. Not just for his near legend status, or his elegant stroke play which is a treat to watch, but also the fact that if the off-court stories are to be believed, he is a genuinely nice guy.

But the bottomline is - in popular opinion, you're as good as your latest result, or a string of them.

Of course, the secret of winning lies in talent, form, training. But it's also a great deal about mental strength. Which is where the detractors had a field day. Roger, they said, wasn't tough inside, wasn't strong enough to tide this career setback. He'd cruised while the going was good. But no more. Finito.

Was the golden run over, then? Would the struggling champ rise, ever?

The answer - a decided yes. Risen he has, with a US Open performance that seemed sometimes gritty and effortless at others. And on occasion, even vintage Fedex.

There's no denying that Roger fed off the momentum that came from being at the top of his game. Each win spurred new victories, more confidence. But my question is - didn't it take strength and tenacity to win in the first place; and to sustain those wins. Like everybody else, Federer didn't start out a winner. He had to fight to get there. So why doubt his courage when he encountered a few break points enroute.

It may be early days yet, but it looks like he's still got what it takes. If anything, the past year should prove that not only can he win from the top, but also come back from three slams down. Survive being labeled a has-been. Vulnerable, he might be, but that's a long way from being vanquished.

For every naysayer, there are many who believe he still has many more Slams inside him yet.

Roger that!